Swine Lake

Well it will be three weeks tomorrow since the eminent Prof Schilders was fettling around inside my hip joint.

I had my first proper visit to the physio on Monday and so far (fingers crossed), so good. Along with giving me some new exercises to do (which I add to my existing regime) Garry also gave me some of that rubber Flexi Band stuff for added resistance and generally pulled, prodded and stretched parts of me around. I'm not saying I crossed, but I was definitely teetering on my pain threshold for some of it. The upshot is (as always) it felt so much better afterwards and actually really nice (I know that sounds perverse!) to have something that felt like a proper stretch. We are basically trying to keep as much of my mobility and flexibility as we can whilst I'm not dancing and (if I understood correctly) made sure I don't get any referred problems. For example I had started to get a bit of a niggly knee on my poorly leg, because other muscles and ligaments were starting to tighten.

That's the problem with being an elite athlete (snigger) I'm like a finely tuned machine!

My other concern about the postoperative period was weight gain. I usually dance 4 or 5 times a week and to go from that to zero I was a bit concerned I'd end up like this:

Ok I usually don't do the whole 'Fat Ballerina' spoof, but it's Nureyev and the Muppets, so you have to make an exception.

So I spent the first week after my Op being a total Food Nazi, living on fruit, salad and Innocent Veg Pots. However nothing terrible happened in fact my weight remained identical so I relaxed my regime a little and in the past two weeks, although mainly being very sensible I have also indulged in Steak and Chips, a roast dinner and a curry.

I remember reading in Gelsey Kirkland's autobiography 'Dancing on my Grave' that after she broke her foot in rehearsal she put herself on a very strict diet:

' Without mobility, I devoted all my energy to maintaining my appearance. I hobbled to the bathroom scale and balanced on one foot to check my weight several times a day. I went on a ration plan to stay at ninety pounds. In the morning I sliced one green apple into four pieces. Each piece constituted one meal, with a tablespoon of cottage cheese for dessert. I ate four "meals" a day' - Gelsey Kirkland

Balanchine, Karinska, Gelsey Kirkland and mystery dresser

Costume fitting for Firebird 1970

Well my days of living on Marlboro lights, black coffee and cottage cheeses (not to mention weighing 90 pounds) are about 20 years behind me, so I think I'm going to stick to my more moderate plan of baked fish and Veg pots with the occasional treat.

I think what's definitely helping to keep my weight in check is the two hours of daily self managing physio. This involves floor exercises and a session on the old exercise bike; I do this twice a day as instructed and it's great for the hip (as there's no pressure on it) and burns a few calories.

However I'm going to be honest, some days the cycling can be a bit tedious, so inspired by Richard Gere in American Gigolo ;who learned Swedish whilst doing inverted stomach crunches using Gravity Boots:

I thought I might pop an old  'Learn French with BBC2' CD (you know the kind that has jaunty music in between the modules) on whilst cycling away and but the end of the week would be able to convey that "My Grandmother's coach had been struck by lightning". It's not quite the same I grant you (I should probably point out that languages were never my strong point at school and that the only French I've ever really mastered has been that used in balletic terms) but he who dares Rodders.

After a few attempts at this I wasn't really making much progress, although I could actually remember some of the very basic stuff from the 'O' Level syllabus, so I decided to have a go at practising Swan Arms whilst cycling; thinking this would combine a bit of co-ordination, flexibility, artistic interpretation and basic toning properties. 

In my head I was an injured Prima, desperately trying to get fit for a World Premiere First Night, however I imagine the reality looked a bit more like this:

Take care my lovelies,

Ballet Bitch xx