Day 13 in the postoperative house and I can report that my stitches have been removed and I have progressed onto Week 2 Self managing physiotherapy in The Hip Arthroscopy Handbook. Woo-hoo!
I shall be visiting 'Garry's House of Pain' on Monday for some serious physio and to experience his unique bedside manner. Only joking Garry, you know I love you!
I don't get to see Professor Schilders again till the 22nd of September as he is currently 'away'; I'm sure it's probably on very important medical business or perhaps a well earned rest to catch up with some reading by Lake Como, but there's a part of me that almost secretly hopes he's 'having it large in Faliraki' for a fortnight.
Anyhoo, I was perusing a copy of Vanity Fair this morning and this advert for Louis Vuitton caught my eye.
A portrait of Annie Leibovitz and Mikhail Baryshnikov, with Misha contemplating whether Annie has capture the essence of 'difficult Russian Artiste with tortured soul' (please say that in your best Meerkat voice).
I love Misha. I loved him in 'The Turning Point', 'White Nights' and 'Dancers'; it put a smile on my face when he turned up in series 6 of 'Sex and the City', and OK he always plays 'difficult Russian Dancer/Artistic Director/Conceptual Installation Artist with a tortured soul', but he does it so well.
But it did get me thinking about the role of classical ballet in advertising; which is somewhat limited, completely unbelievable and thoroughly entertaining.
I must, of course, start with the Maltesers classic 'Chocolate before the performance!':
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0JGqDNde0o
There is something so barmy about this concept, that I rather love it. "10 Marlboro light and a black coffee before the performance" would be a lot more accurate.
I suppose I am also duty bound to mention the current Haagen-Dazs 'Melt Together' extravaganza:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz8kUxPt-EY
I'm not sure why, but there's something about this that I find intensely annoying, don't even get me started on the health and safety implications, I think probably because it's overloaded with saccharin. I really want the girl to drop the spoon, the rallying cry of 'Heads Up' to echo across the stage as everyone pegs it to safety in the wings, leaving the Prima Ballerina (whilst being supported in a Fish Dive) to catch the ice-cream laden spoon and then eat the contents, whilst her partner makes a bitchy comment about her dietary habits. That Ladies and Gentlemen would make a great advert.
And finally, possibly the most realistic product partnership:
Voltaren gel; a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug for the treatment of arthritis and osteoarthritis.
Ballet Bitch xx
I must, of course, start with the Maltesers classic 'Chocolate before the performance!':
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0JGqDNde0o
There is something so barmy about this concept, that I rather love it. "10 Marlboro light and a black coffee before the performance" would be a lot more accurate.
I suppose I am also duty bound to mention the current Haagen-Dazs 'Melt Together' extravaganza:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz8kUxPt-EY
I'm not sure why, but there's something about this that I find intensely annoying, don't even get me started on the health and safety implications, I think probably because it's overloaded with saccharin. I really want the girl to drop the spoon, the rallying cry of 'Heads Up' to echo across the stage as everyone pegs it to safety in the wings, leaving the Prima Ballerina (whilst being supported in a Fish Dive) to catch the ice-cream laden spoon and then eat the contents, whilst her partner makes a bitchy comment about her dietary habits. That Ladies and Gentlemen would make a great advert.
And finally, possibly the most realistic product partnership:
Voltaren gel; a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug for the treatment of arthritis and osteoarthritis.
Ballet Bitch xx
I'm not much of a blogger (or even a blog follower) but I REALLY hope that you will recover completely from the surgery!
ReplyDeleteI am not an artist like yourself - Engineering is my profession (which does not prohibit me from being a Classical Music, Opera and Ballet lover on the side)... If you maintain this blog, I may be tempted to become a "hanger-on" as we call blog followers out here in the "Colonies" ;-)
Hi Jan,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your very kind wishes. My post operative recovery is going really well, but I owe it all to my marvellous Physiotherapist.
I grant you some of his methods are a little bit unconventional, but the time he put on full drag and performed that 'Priscilla Queen of the Desert' Medley to motivate me was truly inspirational.
I knew then, that even though the 'Terence Stamp New York Deli Style Rye Bread' was getting increasingly hard to source, I would, one day , dance again.
BB xx
Dear Ballet Bitch,
ReplyDeleteA strange request this, but hope you might be able to help. I'm a journalist and have been asked to write a feature about what life as a ballet dancer is really like behind the scenes - to tie in with the release of the film Black Swan. I know your anonymity is important to you, but would you consider speaking to me off the record? My mobile is 07712 778869 or you can email me at barbara.davies@yahoo.co.uk. The article is for the Daily Mail.
Best wishes,
Barbara
Hi Barbara,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your interest; it really is most flattering, but, unfortunately (in the famous words of The Fun Boy Three) Our Lips are Sealed!
You could always try Darcey; if you get a couple of Fuzzy Woo Woos down her, she usually starts spilling the beans.
BB xx