Fruity!

I want to say a big thank you to my Godmother (Auntie Jen and family) for the lovely Fruit Basket that was delivered this afternoon.

It's fabulous and looks like a prop from an 'old skool' MGM musical; there are also grapes, apples, tangerines and a plum hiding under the bananas; and I promise I won't attempt to do this with it later:

However if any of you are at a loose end later and fancy popping round to mine, you could always attempt to recreate this number for my amusement.

You might need to bring your own bananas, depending on numbers.

 BB xx

Return of the Muff!

I feel I should start this post by stating that a percentage of you are going to be very disappointed with it's content.

This Fall (I've put that in for our American cousins) my mind has turned to Retro Themed accessories and I've been scouting around the old inter-webby for a bit of inspiration; we Primas like to keep toasty at all times.

Now you can imagine my trepidation at typing the words 'Vintage Muff' into the Google search engine, but I have to say the results weren't too X-rated, so don't be afraid to scroll down and check out some vintage glamour.

Or even some 21st Century Glamour thanks to Rhi-Rhi and Kaiser Karl:

Definitely a case of 'Pimp My Muff'!

If you fancy having a go at making your own, it's well worth looking around sites like etsy and ebay as it's usually fairly easy to source a vintage pattern.

Or if you want to splash the cash have a look at the Rike Feurstein Muff (very similar to the one pictures above left) on ASOS; click the link below and turn to page 24/25 on their virtual magazine.

http://www.asos.com/Women/Asos-Magazine/Cat/pgehtml.aspx?cid=8647

Now seeing that you've all been so well behaved and not sniggered too much, I think it's only fair to leave you with a bit of 1940's Muff porn. Enjoy!

Ballet Bitch xx

   

Chocolate before the performance!

Day 13 in the postoperative house and I can report that my stitches have been removed and I have progressed onto Week 2 Self managing physiotherapy in The Hip Arthroscopy Handbook. Woo-hoo!

I shall be visiting 'Garry's House of Pain' on Monday for some serious physio and to experience his unique bedside manner. Only joking Garry, you know I love you!

I don't get to see Professor Schilders again till the 22nd of September as he is currently 'away'; I'm sure it's probably on very important medical business or perhaps a well earned rest to catch up with some reading by Lake Como, but there's a part of me that almost secretly hopes he's 'having it large in Faliraki' for a fortnight.

Anyhoo, I was perusing a copy of Vanity Fair this morning and this advert for Louis Vuitton caught my eye.

A portrait of Annie Leibovitz and Mikhail Baryshnikov, with Misha contemplating whether Annie has capture the essence of 'difficult Russian Artiste with tortured soul' (please say that in your best Meerkat voice).

I love Misha. I loved him in 'The Turning Point', 'White Nights' and  'Dancers'; it put a smile on my face when he turned up in series 6 of 'Sex and the City', and OK he always plays 'difficult Russian Dancer/Artistic Director/Conceptual Installation Artist with a tortured soul', but he does it so well.

But it did get me thinking about the role of classical ballet in advertising; which is somewhat limited, completely unbelievable and thoroughly entertaining.

I must, of course, start with the Maltesers classic 'Chocolate before the performance!':

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0JGqDNde0o

There is something so barmy about this concept, that I rather love it. "10 Marlboro light and a black coffee before the performance" would be a lot more accurate.

I suppose I am also duty bound to mention the current Haagen-Dazs 'Melt Together' extravaganza:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz8kUxPt-EY

I'm not sure why, but there's something about this that I find intensely annoying, don't even get me started on the health and safety implications, I think probably because it's overloaded with saccharin. I really want the girl to drop the spoon, the rallying cry of 'Heads Up' to echo across the stage as everyone pegs it to safety in the wings, leaving the Prima Ballerina (whilst being supported in a Fish Dive) to catch the ice-cream laden spoon and then eat the contents, whilst her partner makes a bitchy comment about her dietary habits. That Ladies and Gentlemen would make a great advert.

And finally, possibly the most realistic product partnership:

Voltaren gel; a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug for the treatment of arthritis and osteoarthritis.



Ballet Bitch xx



    

Ultimate Crutch Action

Easy Tiger! That's probably not as exciting as it sounds.

Earlier this year when the whole hip malarkey started; consultations, x-rays, MRI Scans (and just for the record it is a jolly jape having contrast matter injected into your hip joint with a horse syringe; although I have to say the radiographer was lovely and we had a nice chat about Ballroom dancing; his favourite dance was the Cha Cha Cha, which quite surprised me as I thought he looked more like a Foxtrot sort of chap), my dance teacher (Nigelinsky) was being very supportive, concerned and compasssionate about the impending surgery and one day, whilst rooting around in his bag, said "I've got a picture of what you'll look like after your operation".

Well I was expecting to see something inspirational like this:

There's me thinking that following my Hip Femoroacetabular Decompression and Labral repair (Ohhh, I love a bit of medical jargon) I would somehow magically have 180 degree leg extension, however the image he was brandishing was this:

Hmmm, hilarious..

This is from bODY_rEMIX by the Compagnie Marie Chouinard, if you would like to see them in action here's the link:

http://www.sadlerswells.com/show/Marie-Chouinard/gallery

Now I think those sort of moves would definitely impress my consultant at our next appointment!


Ballet Bitch xx

      

How to accessorise crutches

Day 6 in the postoperative House and I've been invited to a gig in Camden this Sunday, to which sadly I will not be going, due to being somewhat incapacitated, on crutches and very tender of hip. I'm still a bit cautious about anybody coming near me; mind you with the amount of Tylex and Tramadol currently in my possession I would probably have cleaned up.

However it did lead me to ponder what would I have worn? How do you 'rock' a pair of crutches?

I don't know that just seems a little bit over the top and perhaps a bit chilly for a British Autumn, however (in the words of Jessica and Heather) may I just say, well played Emily Blunt!

Some of you may remember an episode of Sex and the City, in which Jennifer Coolidge played the part of a slightly unstable lady who had decided to get in touch with her creative side and throw a 'Purse Party'........



Well apparently you can do that to crutches too......

I feel at this point that I shouldn't be mean, as (fingers crossed) I only need my crutches temporarily and that we all take our mobility for granted blah, blah, blah, but DEAR GOD MY EYES ARE BURNING!

These little beauties are called Glam Sticks; which is odd because in my opinion there is only one Glam Stick and it looks like this:

Ballet Bitch xx

Hip Hip Hooray

It's day three in the postoperative house and despite seeing the world through the haze of industrial strength prescription pain killers and anti-inflammatory tablets, I think it's fair to say that boredom is definitely scratching at the door. Put it like this; last night I watched 3 episodes of 'The Hotel Inspector' (back to back) on Fiver and by the end was nodding sagely at Alex Polizzi's advice or maybe that's just the quality opiates kicking in.

Today, armed with 'The Hip Arthroscopy Handbook' (oh yes, have a snigger, but I wage it will be a best seller by Christmas) I've started my postoperative physio regime, which today included a very gentle stint on an exercise bike. The cycling will form a large and important part of the recovery regime, so who knows you might see me in the 2012 Olympic Velodrome yet; perhaps Pam Hogg could design the catsuit, sorry I mean streamlined cycling unitard.

And we could always cut a hole in the back of this bonnet and I could wear it back to front.

Right I think we're sorted; Olympic and sartorial victory here I come!

Ballet Bitch xx